NOTE: If you need suicide or mental health-related crisis support, or are worried about someone else, please reach out to any of your established mental health supports, call 988, text “HOME” to 741741 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
Recently a customer mentioned to a caseworker that they were contemplating suicide.
As you can imagine, someone telling you this could be upsetting and you might feel helpless to offer aid and support to the person.
Here we will offer guidance on what you can say, what you can do, and for those closer to you in your life, signs to keep in mind in case someone might be thinking about suicide.
The first thing you need to know is the Suicide Prevention Hotline. There are several resources for people including texting, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline where there are people manning the phones and can provide help; Veterans Crisis Line, and texting or talking for children, teens and young adults. Here is an infographic you can download and keep handy just in case you need the resources: Suicide Prevention Resources remediated 1 (PDF)
Here are suggestions from The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP):
Talking with someone who is thinking about ending their life:
- Talk with them in private
- Listen to them – listen to their story – no judgement!
- Tell them you care about them
- Ask them directly if they are thinking about suicide (this will NOT put the idea into their head, and it will not make it more likely to happen) Do not use euphemisms or indirect questions. Just ask them straight out.
- Encourage them to seek treatment or contact their doctor or therapist.
If you find out they are thinking about suicide or that they have a plan:
- Take them seriously
- Stay with them
- Help them remove lethal means (blades, pills or other drugs, etc.)
- Call 988 the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Text “Talk” to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor (free 24/7)
- Escort the person to a mental health service or an emergency room.
Do NOT debate the value of life, minimize their problems, or give them advice.
After the person gets help, if possible follow up with them and see how they are doing.
Isolation from others due to teleworking, and stresses surrounding the holidays can be overwhelming. When talking with others there are signs to pay attention to that can signal an intention to harm oneself. The Centers for Disease and Control Suicide Prevention website lists factors contributing to suicide risks. You can read the list in its entirety online. Here are just a few of the factors to be aware of if you think someone may be approaching or in a crisis:
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Looking for ways to end their lives, such as searching online for methods
- Withdrawing from activities and/or isolating from family and friends
- Sleeping too much or too little (based on their normal sleeping behavior)
- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
- Giving away prized possessions
If the person(s) you know show one or more of these moods along with the factors listed above, you may want to talk with them:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Loss of interest in people, places, things, activities they used to do
- Irritability
- Feeling humiliation and/or shame
- Agitated and/or angry
- Conversely, showing relief and/or sudden improvement
If you are feeling any of these things and you are thinking about harming yourself, do not wait for someone to reach out! Seek mental health treatment or tell your health care provider or counselor about your suicidal thinking. And, importantly, treat yourself the way you would treat someone who needed your help.
Child Support Specialists are among those on the front line of human need and suffering. We can bring hope and resources to those we encounter. All we need is to reach out in empathy and compassion. We can build our skills to listen actively and to foster empathy. Active listening involves creating a safe space for customers to express their concerns in a non-judgmental way. This can foster trust and encourage open communication. Empathy leads to understanding the emotional experience families face in crisis and is essential for providing effective, positive, hope driven support.
To conclude this article, here are some resources if you want more information about what to do when someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, or if you are concerned someone is vulnerable to this as a solution to putting an end to their suffering:
Child Support Services Customers Resources List
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call. Text. Chat. (988lifeline.org)
SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA
Mental health resource that Child Support can refer customers:
Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling
The Oklahoma Mental Health and Susbstance Abuse Services (OMHSAS) 6-part video series on Self-Care is Health Care video series / is about 25 minutes total with each video is about 3-4 minutes long. The video on Unpacking Treatment is helpful in informing potential patients about how to get services and what services would entail.
OMHSAS also has a Suicide and Prevention and Support web page. This site includes a section on suicide prevention programs and crisis intervention locations around the state. Individuals can look into the nearest services centers when facing a crisis.
We never know when someone will be so emotionally distressed that they will threaten to harm themselves. Having these resources available can help us with peace of mind in case this happens. Also, knowing what to say and what to do can help save a life and help a person feeling hopeless to begin to regain a sense of hope for tomorrow.