Listening is a skill most of us take for granted. Listening is automatic, isn’t it?
We might think we’re listening, but active listening is something entirely different. Think of how much easier it would be to write papers, to participate in discussions, when you know you have really heard everything important that was said at work, not only by your supervisor but also your co-workers and your customers.
It may sound silly, but active listening can be exhilarating. You might be surprised by how much you have missed in the past when your mind has gone off on errands like what to make for dinner or what your sister really meant when she said… You know what we’re talking about. It happens to everyone.
Learn how to keep your mind from wandering with some tips here, plus a listening test at the end. Test your listening skills and then start practicing active listening at work, or anywhere.
Three Kinds of Listening
There are three levels of listening:
- Half Listening
- Paying attention some; tuning out some.
- Focusing on your reaction.
- Commenting to others.
- Waiting for a chance to break in.
- Distracted by personal thoughts and what’s going on around you.
- Doodling or texting.
- Sound Listening
- Hearing the words, but not the meaning behind them.
- Missing the significance of the message.
- Responding with logic only.
- Active Listening
- Ignoring distractions.
- Ignoring delivery quirks and focusing on the message.
- Making eye contact.
- Being aware of body language.
- Understanding the speaker’s ideas.
- Asking clarifying questions.
- Recognizing the speaker’s intent.
- Acknowledging the emotion involved.
- Responding appropriately.
- Remaining engaged even when taking notes.
3 Keys to Developing Active Listening
Develop active listening by practicing these three skills:
- Keep an open mind
- Focus on the speaker’s ideas, not on the delivery.
- Give the speaker your full attention.
- Resist forming an opinion until you’ve heard the entire discourse.
- Don’t let the speaker’s quirks, mannerisms, speech patterns, personality, or appearance get in the way of listening to the message.
- Stay focused on the central ideas being communicated.
- Listen for the significance of the message.
- Ignore distractions
- Be fully present.
- Make sure your phone is silenced or turned off. Everyone can hear a vibrating phone.
- Tune out any chatter around you, or politely tell the talkers that you’re having trouble listening.
- Better yet, sit up front.
- Face away from windows if you can to avoid outside distractions.
- Set aside all emotional issues you brought with you to work, or wherever you are.
- Know your own hot buttons and don’t allow yourself to respond emotionally to issues being presented.
- Make eye contact with the speaker.
- Nod to show understanding.
- Ask clarifying questions.
- Maintain body language that shows you are interested.
- Avoid slouching in your chair and looking bored.
- Take notes, but continue to stay focused on the speaker, looking up often.
Active listening will make your life so much easier. By paying close attention to the significant ideas presented, you’ll be able to remember the actual experience of learning the information when it comes time to retrieve it.
The Listening Test
Take this listening test and find out if you’re a good listener.