In developing negotiation skills to use during the settlement conference, keep some common sense principles and tips in mind.
Treat everyone with respect. Avoid belittling or attacking remarks. Being polite and cordial does not make you soft on the issues. Your goal is to focus on issues and not personalities.
Do not become angry. Remember strong emotions are part of every divorce or family law dispute and may last for years after the separation. If the NCP or CP lash out angrily, remember he or she is really angry at the former spouse or significant other. Do not take the anger personally.
Remain calm. Regardless of how angry or unreasonable the other side is, do not become hostile. If the customer raises his/her voice, do not reciprocate. Slightly lowering your voice can be very effective. If you feel yourself getting angry, create a pause in the negotiations to recompose. For example, you could step out of the office for a moment or place the person on hold if on the telephone. Take a few deep breaths; then resume the negotiations.
Be a good listener. Successful negotiation requires you to understand the other person’s position. Seek first to understand their information before stating the State’s side.
Avoid using child support terminology unfamiliar to the general public. Avoid terms that are part of routine CSS vocabulary at work, but are unfamiliar to the general public. Using terms like “BP,” “CP,” or “grant amount” makes the other side uncomfortable and may make them angry.
Be prepared. Know the facts of the case and the desired result to reach during the negotiations. In the typical workday there is never enough time for everything, but you should take a few minutes to prepare by reviewing the file. Mark legal documents that may need to be referenced during the conference. Calculate the arrears and put them in a format that can be explained to the other side. Explaining in great detail how an arrearage figure was calculated often contributes greatly toward settling a case.
With these points in mind, we will next examine the negotiation process step-by-step. Along the way, a few practical tips are presented for more successful negotiations.
Start the negotiation session by stating the issues. In most court proceedings, the issues are known and can be summarized in a few sentences. In negotiations where issues are not already well defined, talk with the other side to frame the issues.
Example: In a case where a parent has requested a meeting, but the purpose is not clear, you could start the conversation with, “Ms. Smith, my name is Ima Collector. I am a Child Support Specialist in this office and I am assigned to handle your case. I am familiar with your file. How may I help you today?”
Listen to the other side. After issues have been outlined, allow the other person to speak. Listen carefully, because you may gain information useful in framing the settlement proposal. If necessary, ask questions to be certain you understand the customer’s position. Restate the customer’s issues to make sure all parties understand them. However, be careful not to interrupt.
Example: “Now, Mr. Jones, do I understand correctly that you disagree with the amount of back child support because you want credit for three months’ rent and utility bills you paid for Mrs. Jones and the children?”
Deflect responsibility for issues over which you have no authority. Frequently, an NCP wants to discuss everything from his ex‐wife’s boyfriend, to visitation, to the child support arrearage. Focus only on those issues over which you have authority. Remove all other issues from the negotiating table before proceeding further. However, you may need to allow the customer to vent his/her frustrations in order to proceed in a calm manner.
Example: The NCP complains she has not been allowed to visit the children. Your response might be: “I understand that is an issue of great concern to you. However, we are a child support district office only and we are not allowed to get involved in your visitation disputes. You need to talk to an attorney about your visitation order. Visitation is not an issue we can resolve.”
Example: The NCP complains if the CP would go to work, she would not be on welfare, and by the way, he thinks she is not eligible for welfare because she is living with her youngest child’s father. Your response might be: “Child Support Services does not determine whether someone is eligible to draw TANF (Welfare). The TANF office handles all of that. My job is collecting child support and we need to talk about the child support the judge ordered you to pay.”
Summarize points of agreement and disagreement. After each side has presented its case, summarize issues on which there is agreement and disagreement. Always start with the agreements and commend the customer for being able to make as much progress as possible.
Example: “Ms. Jones, we both agree Mr. Jones has custody of the two children and you were required in the Decree of Divorce to pay $250.00 per month child support. Is that correct? We also agree you paid for four months after the divorce, but then lost your job and have not paid for the past year. Is that correct? So you agree you are behind in your child support a total of $3,000.00? That makes quite a bit we agree upon. With that settled, we need to discuss how you can pay that back and also keep up with your ongoing monthly payments.”
Present a settlement proposal for more than you expect is required to settle the case. This allows room to negotiate. Be careful not to be too optimistic in the proposal or the customer may become infuriated and shut down negotiations. Start with a slightly higher figure than you expect to receive.
Example: Since there is a statute stating arrears must be paid in three years, payments on a $3,000.00 arrearage would be $83.33 per month. Your initial offer could be $100.00 or $120.00 per month payment toward arrears. Do not tell the customer he/she has three years to pay the arrears initially—just make the offer. He/she then does not know how much negotiating room is available.
Refine or change the settlement proposal as you discuss it with the other side. Seek a compromise allowing each person to get at least part of what they want. You listened carefully to the customer and may now use the information you learned. Be aware of the need for creativity in proposals. Challenge yourself to design a settlement acceptable to the NCP by meeting some of his/her concerns. The NCP then realizes you are really trying to work with him/her more than a judge would.
Example: You learned Mr. Smith’s car will be paid off in six months, freeing up $200.00 per month in his budget. You could make an offer to take $50.00 per month toward arrears for the first six months, and then increase to $200.00 per month in the seventh month. Point out he will no longer owe the car payment of $200.00 and he will only need to increase his payments by $150.00, so he still has an extra $50.00 in his budget each month.
Example: Ms. Jones is told $100.00 per month is being sought toward the judgment in addition to her $250.00 per month child support obligation. She is thinking $350.00 is more than she brings home in a week’s paycheck and begins to cry. However, if you break it down to $80.76 per week, then the amount is not so overwhelming to her and she may agree to a payment plan in that amount.
Know the bottom line. Know the least favorable terms that are acceptable. You must also have a clear understanding of limits placed upon you by supervisors, office policies, state law, etc.
Example: As in an earlier example, you first offered to accept payments of $120.00 per month toward a judgment. You then negotiated downward to $85.00 per month, knowing they must adhere to the three‐year payment statute with no exceptions. A 36‐month payout is $83.33 per month. The NCP still refuses to settle. In a final effort, explain that in the income withholding order, the court can order 50 percent of his take‐home pay (depending on the facts, the percentage may be even higher!), which would amount to about $XXX per week. You certainly cannot predict what the judge will do, but wanted him to be aware that much could be ordered. Now, $85.00 per month is the bottom line, would he like to settle on those terms or take his chances with the judge?
If a favorable settlement cannot be reached, end the negotiations. Be polite but firm in telling the customer the matter could not be settled. Then tell the customer what happens next (i.e., a hearing).
Example: “Ms. Smith, we have both made a good effort to settle this case, but we are not able to come to an agreement. I appreciate you talking with me about the case. We now need to leave the decision up to the judge. Your hearing will be held on (date) at (place). Bring these receipts and other documents with you on that day if you want to ask the judge to consider them. (Stand up and walk toward the door.) Thank you for coming in today.”
“Difficult” Customers
Due to the nature of the Child Support Services business, CSS staff can expect to encounter the occasional angry or aggressive customer. A few guidelines to assist in the handling of such situations include:
Do not argue or become defensive. Try to think like the customer. Mentally empathize with their problem, and try to separate any negative behavior they may be exhibiting from the person themselves.
Express concern for the customer’s complaint, and suggest resolutions might be attainable if the facts could be calmly discussed. If the complaint is legitimate, make an attempt to resolve it. If it is not within OCSS’ power to resolve the problem, suggest some other avenue, if one is apparent.
Emphasize what can be done to solve this or some other problem, and, if possible, set a date to discuss those results.
The key to effective, confident interviewing is PRACTICE. Make daily conversations with friends, family, and coworkers opportunities to practice listening skills.
Concluding the Meeting
Concluding the meeting allows the Child Support Specialist to reiterate the CSS process, emphasize the importance of the customer’s role in that process, and end the interview in a friendly manner. These suggestions may assist the CSS staff member in bringing the interview to a successful close:
Summarize what has been accomplished and clarify any confusing information.
Explain the CSS process so the customer might know what to expect.
Describe what the next steps will be, both for the Child Support Specialist, and in regard to any steps the customer may need to take (e.g., providing additional information, copies of divorce decrees, etc.) and set a date by which those things will be accomplished.
Never make promises to the customer that might not be realistic. This only leads to customer dissatisfaction.
Ask questions: If the Child Support Specialist is unsure of something the customer has said, this is the time to clarify the information. At the least, this will avoid extra phone contact and save time, and in some cases, may avoid embarrassment to the Child Support Specialist and the office.
Always ask “what further questions do you have?” This will insure the customer has one more opportunity to ask questions, and encourages him/her to do so. Notice the question is phrased as a probing “open” question, rather than the limiting closed question of “do you have any questions?” This last effort to assist the customer can alleviate follow‐up phone calls from the customer at a later time.